The couples most likely to succeed are imbued with trust. Individuals trust that their partner won’t hurt, neglect, or betray them.

Last Monday, I had three couples who weren’t behaving in trustworthy ways. One couple was saying mean, hurtful comments to each other for so long, the wife strongly questioned whether to continue working on the relationship. Another couple neglected the relationship to the point that the wife questioned whether she would return for the next couples counseling session. This was despite recent changes in her husband’s behavior as he was being attentive for the past couple of months. Another couple had sexually betrayed each other. The wife suspected for a long time and the husband recently acknowledged it. The husband recently discovered his wife’s sexual infidelities. The couple felt fury and the pain was agonizing.

Couples counseling is designed to save or restore marriages, but these three marriages were all at risk. For couples to be successful, individuals need to be respectful, attentive, and loyal. The above relationships were aggressive, neglectful and unfaithful for so long, it’s difficult for these relationships to survive. However, most relationships can overcome hurtfulness, neglect, and infidelity if addressed early enough.