Winners are Losers

Michael and Julia shared an incident with me that occurred during the week. When they were grocery shopping together, Julia put the garlic bread at the bottom of the grocery bag, and Michael insisted that the bread was going to be squashed. Julia insisted that it wasn’t a big deal. When they got home and emptied the bag, Michael said, “I told you so!” Julia persisted that he was making too big a deal of it and added, “Dr. Rein would tell me that I’m right!”

The fact is I wouldn’t. The underlying dynamic is that both partners are insisting on being right. Yes, the bread was squashed, and there are more pressing issues in the world. However, the problem is that by insisting he or she is right, the relationship loses.