When I work with most couples, meeting every other week seems to be the right frequency. It’s enough time to allow issues to emerge in between sessions, so couples can process these conflicts in the couples counseling session. As couples have fewer issues, they spread the sessions out.

This is also the point where treatment shifts from my giving couples feedback to the couple being able to give feedback to each other when a conversation escalates. This ability characterizes successful couples.

The other significance of spreading sessions out is science. Research shows that 30 to 60 percent of couples who successfully complete couples counseling relapse after a two-year period—old habits die hard. The research also demonstrates that fading—spreading the sessions out—significantly reduces the relapse rate. I have couples who move from monthly to eventually quarterly/seasonal sessions. This ensures that all the hard work that couples make holds fast.