April and John are strongly attracted and feel a deep sense of love for each other. Despite this connection, an issue emerged that was troublesome.
Both were previously married and were now living together after a few years of dating. When they bought an alarm system for the house, John decided the security code would be the date they met. However, when April discovered that the security code of his previous marital home was his wedding date with his ex-wife, April was furious. John was baffled by her upset, and April couldn’t understand why he didn’t get it.
Initially April thought using a meaningful date as the security code was cute and thoughtful. Once she learned that he had done this previously, it lost all meaning and specialness. John thought he was giving their first meeting special status.
Since John didn’t think symbolically, he never made this connection. But since it was an issue for April, he needed to move from dismissing April’s upset feelings, to being sensitized to what symbolically bothered her.