Katelyn described a transactional relationship with Jake. They managed a household together and raised children, but the relationship felt more like roommates. The romance and emotional connection seemed to vanish. They no longer slept in the same room. He didn’t wear his wedding ring and didn’t have pictures of her on his phone.
She had gained some weight since her pregnancies and Kaitlyn assumed he stopped being attracted to her. Jake shared that he continued to find her attractive but had an issue with how she treated him. She could be sarcastic and critical of him. He felt he couldn’t do anything right. He said that’s what was causing him to pull away.
Now that Jake was sharing this in couples counseling, they had a chance to do things differently. Kaitlyn wasn’t aware of her sometimes subtle attacks but was willing to change. Jake previously reacted to her attacks and eventually withdrew. Now he was willing to learn how to address her more effectively. Both wanted to be so much more than roommates.