A couple, with whom I recently started, said they talked to each other with “careless disregard”. Their comments were sometimes snide and mean. We talked about the importance of being conscientious or mindful in their language. The feedback provided in couples counseling taught them how to move from their snide retorts to respectful comments.

The couple questioned the importance of being so careful about language. They talked about how “it’s sometimes deeper than communication.” There may be issues deeper than communication problems, but the only way to work through these issues is to communicate effectively about them. Ultimately, improving communication allows couples to address their issues.

Sometimes couples will start with an issue, but an underlying issue reveals itself. Talking respectfully and responsively allows couples to get at the source of their issues. After working to communicate mindfully, this previously doubtful spouse said, “These are the kind of conversations that can create change.”