Some folks are microwaves—they heat up quickly but cool off quickly. Others are ovens—they gradually heat up but need time to cool down. These personality differences frequently show up in couples therapy. Microwaves are reactive but move past issues relatively quickly. Ovens take longer before they react, but it is harder to move past issues once they do.

These are essential personality characteristics to recognize in relationships. The challenge for microwaves is to modulate their reactivity. The challenge for ovens is to express their thoughts and feelings.