Don’t Text and Argue

Don’t text and drive is a familiar refrain, especially for teenagers. The reason—it’s so dangerous. Texting about issues in a relationship is also perilous. Conversations are meant to happen in person. Texting, messaging or emailing are poor forms of communication for working through relationship issues.

Occasionally I’ll have couples share a fight they had via text. I can understand why couples who struggle may use it. If they talk directly, specific topics may typically devolve into fights or arguments. Since texting is more distant, the partners may feel less bruised.

The problem is that texting doesn’t communicate emotions effectively. Emojis, caps and symbols translate poorly. Text messages may be more emotionally distant but I’ve read some nasty interchanges, and words hurt. It doesn’t give couples a fair chance for resolving differences.

Texting does work for logistics, such as communicating someone is moving from Point A to Point B. It also works for simple requests, e.g., “Honey, can you pick up milk on your way home?”

If you need to talk through issues, do it in person (or at least Facetime, Zoom or Skype, if one of you is traveling). Remember—don’t text and argue.