In working with a young struggling couple, I was struck by how the wife was really getting it. By the fourth session, she made a...
Relationship Resources Blog
Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.
Clarity Creates Change
Frank went out to pick up some groceries, but Meredith didn’t know where he was. When he returned, Meredith expressed her upset feelings about not...
Repairing Repairs
Repairs are one of the most difficult skills for couples to learn and implement. Repairs are when a conversation begins to go off track but...
Listen
Lauren and Anthony generally have a great relationship. They love each other deeply but struggle with communication. Their challenge is that communication difficulties are subtle,...
Read the Room
Jack and Eileen were arguing at home when Jack attacked Eileen, Eileen reacted, and Jack said, “Let’s end this.” When they processed this interaction in...
What I Need
Sue took issue with Jeremy calling her useless. She began to criticize him for name-calling when I stopped her. I suggested that rather than pointing...
Transparency
Christie discovered that Connor was calling another woman. Since Connor had a history of not being honest, this made the issue even more problematic. Connor...
Silent Rage
Alex and Courtney are an engaged couple in their early thirties, living together in the city. One evening Alex was hoping to hang out with...
Feedforward
When couples give feedback to one other, it tends to be negative. The information typically describes what their partner is doing wrong—which is often critical....
Capacity for Change
A client was describing being estranged from his sister. Any consideration of reconciliation was non-existent. The sister was written off. It made me think about...
Not a Smart Idea
Andrea and Ron were enjoying their long weekend at the beach when Andrea was feeling adventurous. Despite it being dark out, Andrea said, “Let’s go...
What’s Wrong? Nothing.
Debbie is pretty intuitive and was sensing something was bothering Chris. When she asked, “What’s wrong?”, he said, “Nothing.” She asked again and his response...