Thomas walks on eggshells. He’s afraid to say something at home that will set off conflict. He said it’s like avoiding trip wires.

By evading conflict, Thomas’ shutting down instead creates disconnection. His wife Jill says his withdrawal makes her feel abandoned.

Thomas needs to become more aware of how he sets off trip wires—discovering what comments Jill reacts to and expressing himself more skillfully. Marriage counseling is teaching him to do so, therefore avoiding trip wires without shutting down.