Relationships can become battlefields. Criticism is launched horizontally. A partner intentionally or unintentionally attacks. When one is attacked, the recipient defends him or herself, and launches an attack in return. It’s like artillery that is hurled back and forth until a victor prevails or one retreats.

Demands, which are another form of attack, come from the air. This is when a person comes from a higher position and tells their partner: what to do (command), how to do it (advice giving), why he or she is right (dogmatism), or why their partner behaves the way he or she does (analysis). The attacks are dropped vertically, with a person talking down to their partner.

Relationships yearn for peace and relative calm. Couples need to stop shooting artillery and dropping bombs since couples only thrive in a safe, loving environment.