Affair-proofing a relationship has to do with creating boundaries in a relationship. Infidelity occurs when a partner crosses a line romantically, emotionally or physically. Individuals are more susceptible when they have relationship problems, but opportunity is the number one reason for affairs.
Committed partners need to put boundaries around their relationship and not put themselves in the way of temptation. In general, it’s important not to be secretive about ongoing conversations with others.
In her book Not “Just Friends”, Dr. Shirley Glass has specific recommendations to put boundaries around a relationship. These include the following:
- no flirting (whether expressing attraction or sexualized talk)
- no fantasizing
- no regular lunches or coffee breaks with the same person all the time
- when traveling with co-workers, meet in public rooms
- discuss relationship issues at home (not with someone who doesn’t support the relationship)
- keep old flames from reigniting
- don’t go over the line when online (texting, messaging, chatting)
These are terrific recommendations for keeping a committed relationship intact when there are opportunities. If you’re having relationship issues, talk directly to your partner or get professional help, before crossing a line.