Thousands of Little Choices

Individuals constantly make behavioral choices in their marital interactions: they either turn toward their partner, turn away from their partner, or turn against their partner. Turning toward your partner by sharing, doing, or being connects you to your partner. Constantly turning away from your partner creates disconnection. Turning against your partner creates negativity or hostility that can eventually lead to turning away.

When one falls out of love, he or she may still feel affection for their partner, but no longer the passion and romance of being in love. More often than not, he or she blames their partner for falling out of love. However, each individual makes thousands of little choices to turn away from or against their partner.

If an individual blames their partner, there is little possibility for change. However, if someone falls out of love and looks at oneself, he or she could also make thousands of little choices to turn toward their partner—maybe even restoring the love they once had.