Alex and Courtney are an engaged couple in their early thirties, living together in the city. One evening Alex was hoping to hang out with...
Relationship Resources Blog
Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.
Feedforward
When couples give feedback to one other, it tends to be negative. The information typically describes what their partner is doing wrong—which is often critical....
Capacity for Change
A client was describing being estranged from his sister. Any consideration of reconciliation was non-existent. The sister was written off. It made me think about...
Not a Smart Idea
Andrea and Ron were enjoying their long weekend at the beach when Andrea was feeling adventurous. Despite it being dark out, Andrea said, “Let’s go...
What’s Wrong? Nothing.
Debbie is pretty intuitive and was sensing something was bothering Chris. When she asked, “What’s wrong?”, he said, “Nothing.” She asked again and his response...
Past Issues
Couples unconsciously bring their past issues to couples counseling, whether it’s childhood issues or issues with past spouses, but couples don’t often talk explicitly about...
Damaged trust
Marc and Laurie came to couples counseling in crisis. Marc uncovered that Laurie was having an affair that spanned many years and he was furious....
Lost and found
Amy and Julian were married for over three decades. They were quite disconnected and questioned whether to continue the marriage. The kids were adults now,...
Erosion and Explosions
Some couples gradually lose their connection with each other—erosion. This tends to happen with more established couples when the stresses of life, e.g., work or...
Different Thoughts
Meg has a creative mind. It moves from one thought to another, but doesn’t always connect the dots. She sees things holistically, but may miss...
Under the Influence
When a couple has a partner who struggles with alcohol use, many spouses tend to attack the struggling partner. When the struggling spouse feels attacked,...
Culture Wars
When working with couples from different cultures, it is important to be sensitive to their cultural expectations of a relationship, but also help them to...