Couples unconsciously bring their past issues to couples counseling, whether it’s childhood issues or issues with past spouses, but couples don’t often talk explicitly about...
Relationship Resources Blog
Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.
Damaged trust
Marc and Laurie came to couples counseling in crisis. Marc uncovered that Laurie was having an affair that spanned many years and he was furious....
Lost and found
Amy and Julian were married for over three decades. They were quite disconnected and questioned whether to continue the marriage. The kids were adults now,...
Erosion and Explosions
Some couples gradually lose their connection with each other—erosion. This tends to happen with more established couples when the stresses of life, e.g., work or...
Different Thoughts
Meg has a creative mind. It moves from one thought to another, but doesn’t always connect the dots. She sees things holistically, but may miss...
Under the Influence
When a couple has a partner who struggles with alcohol use, many spouses tend to attack the struggling partner. When the struggling spouse feels attacked,...
Culture Wars
When working with couples from different cultures, it is important to be sensitive to their cultural expectations of a relationship, but also help them to...
Confronting Faults
Sharon and Bob were feeling distressed about moving. When Sharon vented her stress, Bob thought her irritation was being directed toward him. Bob turned toward...
Essential Conversations
Successful couples know how to discuss issues without escalating. If they do escalate, they may be able to repair conflict as it’s occurring. If not,...
Amend the Agreement
Over the weekend, Jessica agreed that she would call the contractor on Monday. When Tony asked about it on Tuesday, he was upset that she...
From My Couch to Yours
During the pandemic, a number of couples doubted the efficacy of telehealth. Some couples who I saw pre-pandemic chose not to continue until we could...
Chalk Portraits
Now that Ed was working from home, Denise asked him to help out with the kids for an hour a day. This would give her...