After my first information gathering session with Kelly and Ted, I had them read a manual that I routinely give to couples. This manual describes...
Relationship Resources Blog
Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.
But I Mowed the Lawn
Jake was on the West Coast between work meetings when Kristin called. She was panicked, thinking she was having a miscarriage. When he came home, despite...
Words are Revealing
A husband noticed that his wife talked about their relationship in the past tense and this panicked him. He had a reason to be concerned....
Multiple Choice
Would you go with me to the Smith’s party? a. “Why would I want to do that?” b. “I hate the Smiths.” c. “I’d be...
I Promise
Making promises can be problematic in a relationship, since one is guaranteeing they will do something. If he or she ends up not doing it,...
Hitting the Lottery
Rick and Amy were having a dinner party with several other couples. Rick shared a story about meeting Amy and “pulling her out of the...
Hello Good-Bye
Successful couples say hello when they greet each other and good-bye when they part. They say good morning when they awake and good night when...
A Love Story
John’s parents divorced when he was a toddler and he immigrated from Cape Verde to the US as a teenager with his mother. His dad...
You’re Controlling
Andrea and Don came to marriage counseling to work on their disconnection. As they talked about their disconnection, Andrea talked about feeling micro-managed and controlled, ...
You Don’t Fight Anymore
As Roberta and Dan were concluding their marriage counseling sessions, we were reviewing their progress. Roberta shared that their 8 year old son Conor recently...
What Do You Need?
I was recently reading the Gottman Institute’s newsletter Marriage Minute and the Gottmans’ shared a story about their relationship. Dr. Julie Gottman shared feeling upset...
Disengaged
The majority of couples in counseling have difficulty managing conflict, but discord doesn’t characterize every couple. Some couples are disengaged. Disconnected couples may avoid addressing...