A husband was asking me how his conversations with his wife could decelerate, once they begin to escalate. He described his conversations as driving 100...
Relationship Resources Blog
Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.
Connected Conversations
Kim was longing to feel emotionally connected to Sam again, so I was coaching Sam how to be more emotionally responsive to Kim. They were...
A Piece of Work
Ed’s mother was a piece of work. She was visiting from across the country and staying an extended period of time. She had a history...
What I Meant to Say
It’s not unusual for a couple to be talking about a previous conversation and a partner remembers the discussion differently. The tendency is for the...
Security Code
April and John are strongly attracted and feel a deep sense of love for each other. Despite this connection, an issue emerged that was troublesome....
Playing Mozart
After my first information gathering session with Kelly and Ted, I had them read a manual that I routinely give to couples. This manual describes...
But I Mowed the Lawn
Jake was on the West Coast between work meetings when Kristin called. She was panicked, thinking she was having a miscarriage. When he came home, despite...
Words are Revealing
A husband noticed that his wife talked about their relationship in the past tense and this panicked him. He had a reason to be concerned....
Multiple Choice
Would you go with me to the Smith’s party? a. “Why would I want to do that?” b. “I hate the Smiths.” c. “I’d be...
I Promise
Making promises can be problematic in a relationship, since one is guaranteeing they will do something. If he or she ends up not doing it,...
Hitting the Lottery
Rick and Amy were having a dinner party with several other couples. Rick shared a story about meeting Amy and “pulling her out of the...
Hello Good-Bye
Successful couples say hello when they greet each other and good-bye when they part. They say good morning when they awake and good night when...