In my first session with Pete and Diane I asked about previous couples counseling experiences. I like to learn what worked previously and what wasn’t...
Relationship Resources Blog
Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.
Respect and Appreciation
Will and Sharon were fighting in the car. Will was willing to take over a project that Sharon was struggling with, but Sharon wasn’t ready...
I Never Met Anyone Like You
I was having another difficult session with Cheryl and John. Their issues were complex and difficulties longstanding. Then John shockingly said, “I never met anyone...
Feedback Loops
One goal in couples counseling is to have respectful conversations about relationship issues that need to be addressed. If a couple escalates with each other,...
Suspicion
Donna came to me deciding whether to continue her marriage. She was very unhappy the last few years and suspected that her husband Chris was...
Affairs
Affairs can destroy marriages. Marriages can sometimes endure one affair, assuming the affair is dealt with effectively, but marriages rarely survive more than one affair....
Bulldozing and Stonewalling
April wants to adopt a child and Dan is reluctant. April was bulldozing—pushing her position — and Dan was stonewalling—digging in and shutting down. The...
The Dinner Plate
Tom works long hours. When he gets home late at night, he’s exhausted, as is his wife Alicia. Alicia is managing their four kids— transporting...
The Face Cloth
Tom was talking about something that was important to him and Ally asked about a face cloth. Tom was offended that she interrupted him. They...
The Gift
Ally wondered what birthday presents to buy for Billy, her partner Tom’s son, whose ten year old birthday was in a few months. She often...
Let Your Hair Down
Tom and Ally were having a great time at a club when Tom was about to take a picture of them to capture the night....
This is What I Think
People don’t like to be told what to do. In relationships, partners don’t like to be told what to do. If a partner asks for...