Wendy checked out of her relationship with Alan. Alan wasn’t meeting her emotional needs and hadn’t for years. Any attempt to change this consistently ended...
Relationship Resources Blog
Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.
Code 2, Aisle 2
In my first session with couples, I love to hear the answer to the questions of how they met and what attracted them. Typically couples...
Can’t you Take a Joke?
Tom was making a joke. When Judy responded negatively, he said, “Can’t you take a joke?” Instead, Judy found Tom’s “joke” insulting. A joke is...
Attacking Vulnerabilities
John & Dana disconnected over the years. In our marriage counseling session, John shared that he was seeing a therapist individually for years. Dana was...
Artillery and Bombs
Relationships can become battlefields. Criticism is launched horizontally. A partner intentionally or unintentionally attacks. When one is attacked, the recipient defends him or herself, and...
What Can I Do?
Paul and Kim talked about how snarky they were being with each other the last couple of weeks. When I inquired what was going on,...
Turn Here! Slow Down!
Driving is a classic topic in couples therapy since it evokes power and control issues. Commands such as “Turn here,” “Park here,” “Go this way”...
The Tarp
Cynthia was feeling stressed. Between work, kids and maintaining the home, there was never enough time. Her partner Ron sensed her strain and decided to...
The Commander
Justin and Michelle were going away for the weekend. Justin insisted on returning to a particular restaurant, saying “I am going to ….” I pointed...
Starting to Get It
Mary came to the first session by herself questioning whether to continue her relationship with Sean. She checked out of the marriage years ago. Sean...
Precious Moments
Sarah recently buried her husband. David was terminally ill for a number of years and Sarah felt fortunate to prepare for his death. They were...
Just Go On a Date
In my first session with couples, I ask them about their prior experiences with marriage counseling. I want to learn what was previously helpful and...