Research shows that negativity is twenty times more powerful than positivity. It’s hard to be positive and emotionally close with a partner when negativity and...
Relationship Resources Blog
Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.
Don’t Fight
Couples are always going to have differences. It’s the nature of relationships. Individuals have varying backgrounds, values, needs and desires. The problem is not that...
I Appreciate
Being respectful is one of the most important concepts for couples to implement. When expressing oneself to a partner, it’s crucial that its done respectfully...
Committed?
A marriage vow is a lifetime commitment that two individuals make to each other. Unmarried couples also commit to each other when they pledge monogamy,...
Honestly – Part 2
Individuals committed to complete honesty makes them more accountable for their behaviors. People don’t want to share uncomfortable or embarrassing behaviors, therefore they are more...
Honestly – Part 1
The importance of honesty is sometimes assumed but needs to be talked about explicitly. For successful couples, honesty is at the core of their relationship....
Couples Deserve To Succeed—Part 2
If a couple starts a conversation with a negative statement (a harsh startup), the likelihood of responding negatively (the second statement) is 94%. Therefore the...
Couples Deserve To Succeed—Part 1
I watched my niece radiate as she and her husband-to-be were making their wedding vows. The groom talked about noticing my niece from the moment...
Looping
Escalation is the primary reason for relationship distress. It occurs when individuals attack their partner and partners attack back. However, there’s another process that’s problematic...
I Want a Divorce
In our couples counseling session, Jackie complained that during a fight, Will threatened to leave the relationship. Threats can occur when a couple escalates. Threats...
How Affairs Begin
Julie and Dave came to me after Julie’s affair was discovered. Individuals who have affairs are not typically looking for an affair partner. The relationship...