The primary issue for one of my couples was the husband’s lack of emotional restraint. Despite making progress, the husband continued to have explosive episodes...
Relationship Resources Blog
Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.
Advanced Lessons
A couple I saw years ago returned to couples counseling. They had made tremendous progress, but wanted to address the occasional skirmishes that arose. The...
Impact Statements
When conversations get off track, skilled couples can bring them back. A couple does this by giving effective feedback and having their partner be responsive...
Monumental Changes
In a couples counseling session, Sarah described losing herself in the marriage. She found her husband, Robert, controlling, and was losing her sense of self...
Less Annoyed and Annoying
As I was helping a couple process a negative interaction, the husband said he could work on his delivery and his reaction. He said he...
It’s Not What You Say; It’s How You Say It
It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it. A couple in their early thirties was having this discussion. They referred to “what” as...
Do it Differently
I recently started working with a couple in their seventies who were having significant conflict. After reading about successful couples, the wife said, “I can...
Keep Small Things Small
I was working with a couple in their early forties when the husband seemed annoyed that we were dealing with small issues in couples counseling....
Benefit of the Doubt
The husband of a couple I see wants his wife to give him the benefit of the doubt. The husband has good intentions and doesn’t...
Offloading
I am currently working with several couples in which the wives feel they are doing a majority of the household tasks. Chores don’t need to...
No Place for Guilt
Guilt doesn’t often show up in couples counseling, and couples using guilt to parent their children is infrequent. I’m more likely to hear from couples...
What I Meant to Say
When the husband of a couple I work with misspeaks, he tries to convince his wife of his good intentions. This approach doesn’t work for...