Relationship Resources Blog

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Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.

No Place for Guilt

In Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Communication Skills, Guilt, Manipulation

Guilt doesn’t often show up in couples counseling, and couples using guilt to parent their children is infrequent. I’m more likely to hear from couples...

What I Meant to Say

In Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Accountability, Communication Skills, Repairs

When the husband of a couple I work with misspeaks, he tries to convince his wife of his good intentions. This approach doesn’t work for...

Try That Again

In Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Communication Skills, Recurring Patterns, Repairs

Joe and Donna have been married for three decades, and they had a repeating pattern of reacting to each other. Now that they were implementing...

Change Expectations to Wishes

In Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Communication Skills, Emotional Expression, Expectations

Expectations can be problematic in relationships. They typically consist of thoughts of how a partner should behave. If a partner’s behavior doesn’t align with expectations,...

Magnifying Change

In Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Behavior Change, Couples Counseling

Struggling couples typically recognize that change is needed. Couples counseling clarifies what needs to change. The job of a skilled couples counselor is to take...

Gradual Change

In Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Disconnection, Infidelity, Neglect, Recurring Patterns

There is a parable that says if you toss a frog into a pot of boiling water, it’s going to feel the intense heat immediately,...

Two Heads

In Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Communication Skills, Conflict Resolution, Respectful Discussions

Greg and Aimee have a contentious relationship. Rather than discussing, each is trying to convince and make a case for their position. This sets the...

Looped

In Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Accountability, Alcohol Use, Blame Loops, Recurring Patterns

Jeff and Abby are struggling. Abby is absorbed by her demanding job and tending to their young children. Jeff is personally struggling and using alcohol...