Andrea and Mark have been married for four decades and report their relationship was sometimes “horrible.” Andrea resented being emotionally treated like a punching bag....
Relationship Resources Blog
Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.
Master Healthy Communication
Rachel is looking for emotional support from her sometimes dismissive husband, Rob. Rob tended to say, “You’re fine,” when she shared something emotionally upsetting. She...
Parenting Policy
It’s important for couples with children to present a united front. However, how does this get reconciled when parents have different parenting approaches? The key...
Parenting Techniques
Research shows that yelling is not an effective parenting approach. Two parenting techniques that can minimize yelling are whispering and hovering. Parents tend to yell...
Scorecards
Tasks in a relationship don’t have to be equal; they just need to be fair. Scorecards are used when a couple tries to prove they...
Needs & Impact
Erin and Jeff had two young children and were frequently in conflict. Now a stay-at-home mother, Erin expected Jeff to know what she needed. For...
Have the Conversation
Last night, I watched a movie, Hope Gap, about a husband who had withdrawn from his wife.Her constant criticism of him led him to retreat....
No Recourse to Clarity
I was now meeting with Paul and Jessica every 3 months and in their last session, Paul was reflecting on what they were doing differently....
Profound Simplicity
If you want to be a better person, there is no better place to work on this than in your relationship. Every day, you can...
Formula for Success
When Alyssa feels unimportant, she gets angry, but her husband, Dave, experiences her anger as an attack. Instead, now she will tell Dave that she’s...
Heating Up
Some folks are microwaves—they heat up quickly but cool off quickly. Others are ovens—they gradually heat up but need time to cool down. These personality...
Big Decisions
One of the biggest decisions someone will make is who they choose to marry. For most, the decision is easy. There is something unique and...