Relationship Resources Blog

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Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.

The Four Horsemen

In Relationship CounselingTags Criticism, Four Horsemen

One of the most important contributions from Dr. John Gottman’s research is his concept of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. These are the communication...

Masters of Relationships

In Relationship CounselingTags Disasters, Masters, Positive Statements, Responsibility

Dr. John Gottman’s research identified two different forms of relationships – Masters of Relationships versus Disasters of Relationships. The Masters were relatively happy and the...

Making Relationships Work

In Relationship CounselingTags Calmness, Dr. John Gottman, Love Lab

Dr. John Gottman, Ph.D. is the nation’s foremost leader in marital research and therapy. In the next series of blogs, I will share his research...

Thanks for Sharing

In Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Appreciation, Communication, Counseling Process, Criticism, Listening

Couples counseling is designed to create a safe environment for couples to be more emotionally open with each other. As couples feel safe to disclose...

Suspend Indefinitely

In Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Counseling

Brendan was at a party when a friend asked, “How come you’re not drinking?” Brendan said, “Feb 4th would be a year and then I’ll...

Pacing and Spacing

In Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Indiscretions, Timing, Trust

Joe had a long history of one night stands, which his wife Claire discovered a couple of years ago. Joe has been in individual and...

Let Me Give You An Example

In Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Control, Criticism, Defensiveness, Escalation

It was Friday night and Dave and Amy were planning to go out to dinner with one year old Ava. Amy was commuting home from...

Intimate Friends

In Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Defensiveness, Emotional Support, Listening, Vulnerability

Ken and Erin were progressing nicely in marriage counseling. They were addressing the major issues in their relationship. In a recent session, Ken noticed that...

I Didn’t Know

In Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Accusations, Communication, Disconnected, Feedback, Feedback Loop, Listening

Liz and Joe came to marriage counseling to address a number of issues. Their most pressing issue was a friendship that Liz developed two years...

Getting Over The Past

In Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Communication, Defensiveness, Listening

After months of marriage counseling, Jennifer now felt supported by her husband Sean when she talked about Will—her adult son from her first marriage—who struggles...

Can’t You See

In Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Communication, Criticism, Escalation

Elysia and Scott were sitting in the physician’s waiting room waiting for Elysia’s appointment. Elysia’s cell phone rang and she answered. Elysia kept the conversation...

An Unpleasant Holiday

In Couples Therapy, Marriage Counseling, Relationship CounselingTags Conflict, Escalation

Jeannie works in the restaurant industry. When she was working Christmas Eve, her husband Rick planned to make the night special despite her not being...