There is no such thing as constructive criticism. In relationships criticism is actually destructive. If one is critical in a relationship, the individual is putting...
Relationship Resources Blog
Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.
Choose Well
Problems are inevitable in relationships. The problems individuals deal with in their relationship depend on who they marry or commit to. Partners have unique personalities,...
The Circuit Breaker
When couples begin couples counseling, I encourage them to address the most difficult issues in the counseling sessions. As couples progress, the issues become more...
She Makes Me a Better Person
Kate has an issue with Marc’s drinking. Marc’s a golfer and likes to drink with his buddies after golfing. Kate thinks his drinking is excessive—changing...
On The Defense
Gary wanted Emily to take off the Friday before a Monday holiday. Since it was difficult for Emily to do so, she took off Tuesday...
Love Languages
I recently read the book The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. This book has useful concepts for couples. Love languages are the ways...
Let’s Start Over
When a couple escalates, they are in conflict and unlikely to resolve issues. If a couple starts a conversation with a negative statement, the likelihood...
Just Be Kind
In Dr. John Gottman’s Love Lab, he discovered that happy, successful couples have a strong friendship system. The partners know each other’s world, feel fondness...
I Hear What You Say
Healthy, successful couples are able to manage conflict. To improve managing conflict in a relationship, Dr. John Gottman suggests being aware of harsh startups and...
I Can’t Imagine…
Maryanne and Don were deciding whether to have a baby. Maryanne wanted badly to have children and Don was clear that he didn’t. This is...
The Sound Relationship House – Part 2
This is a continuation of last week’s blog regarding Dr. John Gottman’s Sound Relationship House. The fourth level of The Sound Relationship House is the...
The Sound Relationship House – Part 1
The Sound Relationship House is a model developed by Dr. John Gottman to help understand relationships. The three bottom layers of the house create a...