I hadn’t seen Tim and Maura for a while, but they talked about how much progress they were making. Then Tim brought up a time...
Relationship Resources Blog
Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.
It Takes Two
Rob and Allison were high school sweethearts. Now in their early thirties, they were struggling for quite some time. Allison was spending a lot of...
Missed Opportunity
I was talking with a colleague with whom I share a case (she sees the wife individually) and she talked about her approach to couples...
Being Present
Karl has a demanding job. Even when he’s on vacation, work slips into the vacation. With two young children, his wife Ashley gets irritated when...
Healing Past Wrongs
In our last couples counseling session, Kim shared an incident from many years ago when she told her husband David that she had made him...
Why Are You Rhetorical?
Jan just got back from a week-long conference and found Jeff in the garage. Jeff seemed aggravated and Jan said, “What’s the matter with you?”...
Thank You
The following was posted on the Gottman Institute’s blog Marriage Minute. Because the advice is subtle but profound, I wanted to share. Sorry for venting....
Possibility
I was talking with a couple about the importance of paying attention to the subtlety of language and the husband said, “I’m not skilled at...
Face Value
When someone is saying what they think or feel is true for them, I encourage couples to assume their partner is being truthful. If a...
The Right Frequency
When I work with most couples, meeting every other week seems to be the right frequency. It’s enough time to allow issues to emerge in...
Be There
Donna was thrilled by her accomplishment. She was developing a new company policy that her colleagues doubted would ever be implemented. Donna was asked to...
I Want To Be Like You
When I first started couples counseling with Bruce and Lauren, their 14-year-old daughter asked her mother, “Do you still love dad?” This was not an...