One of the comments couples can make is “It’s no big deal.” I find men more likely to make this comment than women. The problem...
Relationship Resources Blog
Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.
Staying in Love
When you meet the right person, falling in love is easy. Almost all committed relationships have the experience of falling in love. This other worldly...
Bestie
When I ask couples what’s attractive about their partner, I occasionally get the answer, he or she is my best friend. What characterizes best friends...
Forgiveness
I’m currently working separately with two couples in which the husband mistreated the wife. With one couple, the husband tended to be critical and dogmatic....
Sacred Space
Erica and Elliott were making nice progress in couples counseling. Fewer negative incidents occurred in between our sessions. Erica wanted to work more on her...
Filtered Conversations
Amy and Jack reported that they had a four hour “unfiltered “conversation since their last couples counseling session. I knew unfiltered was not good, e.g.,...
An Unwilling Participant
A man recently called me because he and his wife were having marital problems. His wife was refusing to come to marriage counseling, but he...
Honeymoon Blues
Jen shared a story in couples counseling. When she and Jay were on their honeymoon, Jay talked to another woman for over an hour. Jen...
Lost in Translation
In our last couples counseling session, Sherry shared that she is still not getting her needs met, such as affection. She wants Dennis to ask...
When Wine Glasses are Just Wine Glasses
I first saw Kate and Steve a couple of years ago. Steve had a number of indiscretions that Kate was tired of. She was hoping...
Sharing Struggles
Kurt is struggling at work. His job is eventually being transferred overseas. To keep him in his job during the transition, he accepted an attractive...
Be Oneself
In a couples counseling session, the husband said, “I’d feel more positive if I didn’t need to put my armor on.” I was struck by...