In my couples counseling practice, couples spend almost the entire session talking directly to each other, typically discussing the most difficult issues in their relationship....
Relationship Resources Blog
Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.
Crisis
Infidelity is sometimes the crisis that brings couples to counseling, but ultimately couples are working on their relationship in couples counseling. These couples often work...
Fried Dough
Diane asked Tom about his time with the kids at the Marshfield Fair and he mentioned that they got fried dough. Diane loved fried dough...
There’s Still Hope
One of the sadder situations as a couples therapist is when couples get to couples counseling too late. It only takes one individual—who has lost...
Well, Maybe Not Every Relationship-Serial Infidelity
Helping couples recover from physical or emotional affairs is unfortunately standard work in couples counseling. Most affairs occur when couples disconnect due to conflict and...
Well, Maybe Not Every Relationship-Addiction
Active alcohol and drug addiction also makes it unlikely to have a successful relationship. The relationship is often reactive to the presence of the addiction....
Well, Maybe Not Every Relationship-Physical Aggressiveness
Couples deserve to succeed, but there are certain types of relationships that are unlikely to be successful. These relationships involve: battering, active alcohol or drug...
My Loneliest Moment…
“My loneliest moment is lying next to you” is an actual quote. It’s painful to hear the level of despair this woman feels for her husband....
You Keep Saying It
Looping is when a couple’s conversation goes in circles. It’s when a couple keeps repeating what they are saying over and over again. It typically...
Zero To One Hundred—Part 2
Demands can also initiate escalation. Adults don’t like to be told what to do, how to do it, the right way to do it, or...
Zero To One Hundred—Part 1
Escalation often begins with an attack. Regardless of how strong someone’s self-esteem is, individuals don’t want to be attacked. When someone is attacked, the tendency...
The Power of Negativity
Research shows that negativity is twenty times more powerful than positivity. It’s hard to be positive and emotionally close with a partner when negativity and...