As Laura and Steve were progressing in couples therapy, Laura began our next session saying, “I was proud of us. We had a conversation.” This...
Relationship Resources Blog
Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.
Ma Belle
Jacqueline noticed a text on Jacques’ phone. It was from Jacques’ platonic female friend from college. Since Jacqueline was feeling more curious than usual, she...
Affair Proofing
Affair-proofing a relationship has to do with creating boundaries in a relationship. Infidelity occurs when a partner crosses a line romantically, emotionally or physically. Individuals...
Raise Expectations
Since Kate and Rick were progressing well in marriage counseling, we talked about what we needed to see to indicate it might be time to...
Course Correction
Most relationships hit ruts in which they need to course correct. It’s like your navigation system re-calibrating when you make a wrong turn. If you...
Careless
In my relationship counseling sessions with Jill, I individually coach her to be more effective in her relationships with others. She recently started working with...
You’re Too Sensitive
“You’re too sensitive!” or “You’re insensitive!” are both accusatory statements. The recipient is likely to react or withdraw. Every individual falls somewhere along the continuum...
I’m Not Going to Change
One of my couples began to squabble during a couples counseling session and the husband Matt said, “I’m not going to change.” Since couples counseling...
You Should
“Shoulds” are problematic in relationships. They indicate that a partner should act or not act in a particular way. If a partner doesn’t act accordingly,...
You Know That
Kevin and Shauna have been dating about 4 years and Shauna was wondering about the future of their relationship. Shauna, an art teacher, is emotional,...
You Have to Work at it
I was recently reading the book Barking Up the Wrong Tree, and came across a fascinating study. The research compared love marriages—couples that marry because...
No Filter
A client recently shared with me that when she’s with her husband, “I don’t want to filter what I say.” She wants to “be herself”...