Leah and Robert were on a road trip when Robert started slowing down on the highway, and Leah said, “What’s wrong with you?” Robert heard...
Relationship Resources Blog
Each day my life is enriched by listening to and guiding couples as they bring their raw experiences to sessions and we try to make sense of difficult times. Through these blog posts, I hope to give readers a snapshot of our work including examples of the real issues that people bring, and how we can find meaning and a path out together. Their identities are protected, but each experience is real. Because relationships are complex, my role is to help couples share their experiences while providing a conceptual road map to understand their experiences, finding a way out of the woods of painful experiences. This blog shares stories and concepts; I hope it provides hope, insight and richness to each reader’s own journey.
Resolve Doesn’t Mean You Agree
Claire was upset at Andy for moving money from one account to another without telling her. He said he thought he had told her, but...
Muscle Memory
In my couples counseling sessions, we focus a lot on language. Couples’ ability to work through issues depends on their communication skills. Couples counseling aims...
Rewiring
Heather came to couples counseling to either repair their relationship or end it. Her husband of thirty years, Jay, recently erupted and verbally attacked her,...
Integrity in Your Words
I usually think of integrity as fidelity in a committed relationship. However, one of my clients discussed having “integrity in your words.” I liked the...
Us
The wife of a couple had a great description of what can happen in relationships. She said, “It is me versus you instead of us...
Wake-Up Call
Angela had issues with her husband, Tim, throughout their relationship. But somehow, Tim didn’t listen to her complaints. Often, he would respond by convincing her...
Imposed Perfectionism
Perfectionism is not a problem in itself. If someone holds high standards for themselves, that is their prerogative. However, if they impose those high standards...
What Works for Me
If you don’t like what your partner is saying or how they are saying it, many individuals criticize their partner or tell them what they...
Peace, Love, and Understanding
I was working with Wendy and her husband on issues in their marriage when Wendy talked about what she needed from her marriage, “Peace, love,...
Being Seen & Heard
While marriage counseling with Todd and Deb initially focused on Deb’s infidelity, they gradually widened the lens to work on their marriage. Deb spoke of...
Neutrality
If a couple is seeking counseling, one essential quality to look for in a couple’s therapist is neutrality. That is, neither partner feels that the...